Chicken Today… And Every Day

by Jan

Fast-Food-1999 Nyoman Masriadi.jpg!Blog

In March 2012 there was a news story about what Australians eat. Chicken topped the list of meats we consume according to the Meat & Livestock Association 2010-11.

About the same time another news story was published about the unsanitary behaviour of a large chicken processor in NSW. The allegation was that packaged chicken unsold by a large retailer was returned, re-packaged and sent to another large retailer. And vice versa. Here’s a tongue in cheek news story:

Chicken Today… And Every Day

Sydney, Tuesday:  A scuffle broke out at a take-away food stall in the central business district of Sydney this week, when a customer asked for a dish in which chicken was not the main ingredient.

The customer asked for any other meat in his take-away lunch, and the vendor took offence, as he maintained that “Everyone orders chicken”.

The crowd waiting to be served was irritated at the interruption of this customer, and one agreed with the vendor that “Everyone orders chicken”. Someone tackled him, but they were separated.

The customer’s controversial request prompted the vendor to display his bain marie full of different chicken dishes. Available dishes were: Thai Chilli Chicken, Thai Red Chicken Curry, Roasted Chicken with Sweet Chilli Sauce, Black Bean Chicken, Malaysian Chicken Curry, Chicken and Vegetable Stir-Fry, Chicken with Noodles, Nasi Goreng with Chicken, Chicken Satays, Thai Chicken with Basil, and Chicken Tikka.

“I used to serve Beef and Black Bean and Sweet and Sour Pork, but we hardly sold any of it. So I took them off the menu”, explained the vendor.

Asked what the dissatisfied customer should do, the vendor said, “He should take his own lunch to work. There is no place for people trying to make trouble in public food courts”.

“We’re absolutely delighted” said a spokesman for the Australian Chicken Meat Federation. “We won’t be satisfied until we dominate the retail end of the market”.

On his advice we investigated take-away stalls selling cuisines other than Asian.

In the same food court was another vendor who sold Chicken Parmigiana, Roast Chicken with Stuffing and Gravy, Chicken Caesar Salad, Pasta with Chicken and Vegetables, Deep Fried Chicken Nibbles, Chicken and Salad Rolls, Chicken Tikka and Yoghurt Wraps, Chicken Foccacias, and not much of anything else. “No one orders anything else” is the same refrain.

When asked if he saw any similarity with the spam sketch by Monty Python, the Federation spokesman said, “That’s a cheap shot. If Australians prefer chicken, that should be taken seriously. It’s good for the economy”.

Finally, at the charge of being a boring choice he responded emphatically:

“No, you can have chicken with anything. Just go to any take-away and have a look”.